Navigating the waters of Alzheimer’s disease with not one, but two parents

Being an only child of both parents who have/had Alzheimer’s disease — and with one of them not living close by is stressful,” begins Jennifer Workman, an occupational therapist in Wilmington, North Carolina. “It’s like you are grieving. Your parents are still there, but because you know they are living with the disease, it’s just a sad situation.” While Jenn began her career in pediatrics, she shifted her focus to the geriatric population and did a lot of extra training specifically on individuals living with dementia about sixteen years ago. She helped take care of her Nana who had dementia, so when Jenn’s dad Bob, a mechanical engineer and avid golfer, was diagnosed in 2017, she knew generally what to expect. “My parents are divorced,” offers Jennifer. “And so I tried to just do a little bit of education with my stepmom, and she just wasn’t ready to hear it or do anything concerning my dad’s condition.” Jenn’s dad and stepmother lived in the Outer Banks which is about five hours from Jennifer. She shares that her dad’s progression with Alzheimer’s was pretty slow over the years until his passing in November 2022. Jennifer’s mom Peggy was diagnosed with rapid onset Alzheimer’s disease [rapidly progressive dementias] in 2020 which presented Jenn with an entirely new and different set of challenges.

Bob and Peggy divorced when Jenn was five years old. Peggy re-married a man named Cecil who was the love of her life. They built a beautiful home on the water and really enjoyed each other’s company. They owned a boat and took it out regularly. Cecil was a pilot and during his free time they would take this plane out somewhere for lunch. They had a great life together until Cecil died in 2000 from a brain aneurysm. She loved the water, and after Cecil’s death, Peggy went to the coast guard for boating classes, so that she would be able to still continue to do what she loved. Additionally, Peggy was very involved with the local garden club and her church. Peggy was a nurse for forty years retiring when she was 62, so she was on her church’s vestry, and would go visit with people who were unwell.

“Mom loved to shop at Belk,” shares Jenn. “We would meet for lunch or happy hour once a week and she kept herself really busy.” In 2019, not only did Jenn begin to notice some unusual behavior with her mom, Jenn was also diagnosed with breast cancer on her 46th birthday. “Mom would call or we would have gone out for happy hour, and I always had to text her or call her when I got home, even though I’m 45 years old,” offers Jenn. “Once a parent always a parent. But sometimes she would call several hours later and tell me the same story we shared earlier.” That occurrence was happening more frequently.  Jenn underwent her surgery, chemo and radiation that entire year and felt miserable from those effects. Consequently, Jenn was not able to see her mother that frequently. The onset of the COVID pandemic further exacerbated the length of time between visits to months. In addition to the cancer treatments, Jenn was also teaching remotely at Wilmington’s Community College. Peggy was still living at home and had a boyfriend that she saw several times a week. Jennifer notes he was older and not as mobile as Peggy. She believes he may or may not have noticed that things were not quite right.

In July 2020, Peggy’s actions set off all types of emotion alarms for Jenn. “Mom called me on her way back from her boyfriend’s house and we had a normal conversation.” says Jenn. “The next morning when I woke up I had a call from the sheriff’s department three and a half hours away that they had found my mother sitting in her car, and did not know where she was.”  Panic stricken Jenn drives to go get her and is completely shocked by her disheveled appearance. Peggy who once was the lady who always dressed to the nines now looked anything but that. She didn’t know where she was and didn’t understand why Jenn didn’t call her. 

Jenn drove her mother to the hospital where she was admitted, they performed a series of cognitive tests and brain scans that confirmed younger-onset Alzheimer’s disease. Upon hearing the diagnosis, Jenn shares that she noticed a big communications breakdown when it came to next steps in caring for her mom. “When Mom was diagnosed, it was like, ‘okay, she has what we believe is rapid onset Alzheimer’s,’” says Jennifer. “I wasn’t connected with any resources and I wasn’t given any information.” Jenn adds that neither the neurologist nor the hospital staff knew her work history or her knowledge of dementia, but that it was frightening that there were no resources given to her to assist with her mom’s care. Jenn had just begun graduate school when Peggy was diagnosed, and that inspired her to get her post-professional doctorate in occupational therapy. She partnered with the local hospice agency and developed a six-week dementia caregiver education program for the spouses, children and siblings of those individuals living with Alzheimer’s or other dementia. Different topics were discussed each week. Additionally Jennifer conducted home visits for each participant and provided them with more personalized suggestions and recommendations in caring for their loved ones. “This project gave me so much fuel for my passion for helping the caregivers of individuals living with dementia,” emphasizes Jenn. “So I thought the best way to really be able to kind of infiltrate that into the community more was through volunteering with the local Alzheimer’s organization.”

Looking back, Jenn believes that from the hospital’s perspective, it is always so rushed to move patients out as quickly as possible while focusing on the acute problem of the person and not what the patient’s long term care will be when they leave, at least that was the impression she had after the experience with her mom. “I knew what to do and who to call or where to find the information,” asserts Jenn. “But I was also thinking, ‘what about the people that don’t have a caregiver that can advocate or knows what to do for them?” Jenn believed that it was a significant void for the community that she was eager to help toward filling. Thus she became a volunteer Alzheimer’s Association Community Educator. She’s currently in the midst of a virtual occupational therapy caregiver education series for the Association.

Peggy lives in the Commons at Brightmore of Wilmington, a senior living community with a memory care unit. “We’re having the typical struggles, you know, with hygiene — not wanting to take a shower and not wanting to change clothes,” says Jenn. “Mom is very well cared for, and I’ve been really impressed with the care that she is receiving.” Jenn adds that it is really sad in that she doesn’t feel like she has a parent to talk to about normal things, but she meets her mom where she is [cognitively] and tries to visit her every other day.   

In addition to becoming a care and support volunteer, Jenn has also joined the fight to end Alzheimer’s through Walk to End Alzheimer’s – Wilmington taking place on November 4. Jenn and her Walk Team, Walking for Workman, are really looking forward to the upcoming event. In fact they have raised over $1,000 through old fashioned cold calling as well as utilizing the social media fundraising platforms! Sadly, Jenn was not able to participate in the 2022 Walk as it was during the time when her father passed away. The walk team was successful in fundraising nonetheless and many of her team members, did walk on her behalf.  Jenn has developed a strong network of friends through her own cancer journey as well as those of her parent’s Alzheimer’s.  

Was for why she walks — her parents, of course — but Jenn also Walks because she believes the Alzheimer’s Association has such an incredible array of resources. According to Jenn, the ability to reach a live person 24 hours a day 7 days a week, 365 days a year [through the Association’s helpline – 800.272.3900] can give so much hope and help to those who might be struggling to take care of a family member, don’t have resources for respite, don’t have family around, or don’t have friends that are able. “I feel like you don’t need money to get the resources,” affirms Jenn. “I feel like everything is covered and there’s so many options for people which are most meaningful to me.”


LIKE JENNIFER, WE ALL HAVE A REASON TO FIGHT FOR A WORLD WITHOUT ALZHEIMER’S DISEASE. Join your local Walk to End Alzheimer’s today as an individual, team, or sponsor.

The Alzheimer’s Association hosts 17 walks across North Carolina. The Alzheimer’s Association Walk to End Alzheimer’s is the world’s largest event to raise awareness and funds for Alzheimer’s care, support and research. Since 1989, the Alzheimer’s Association® mobilized millions of Americans in the Alzheimer’s Association Memory Walk®; now the Alzheimer’s Association is continuing to lead the way with Walk to End Alzheimer’s. Together, we can end Alzheimer’s.

Alamance County9/30/2023
Asheville10/14/2023
Charlotte10/21/2023
Fayetteville10/28/2023
Gaston/Cleveland/Lincoln10/14/2023
Guilford County10/7/2023
Henderson County9/30/2023
Iredell County9/23/2023
Jacksonville10/14/2023
Moore County9/30/2023
Mount Airy9/9/2023
New Bern10/21/2023
Rowan-Cabarrus10/28/2023
Unifour (formerly Hickory)10/28/2023
Triangle (Raleigh-Durham)10/7/2023
Wilmington11/4/2023
Winston-Salem11/4/2023

Alzheimer’s isn’t stopping and neither are we.

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