Amongst the beautiful Brushy Mountain range in Wilkes County, third generation arborist Donald Hendren and his wife Rhoda raised three daughters on their family apple orchard. An idyllic life for the close family who instilled the value of hard work and the importance of community. As the daughters grew up and had families of their own, the apple orchard was still the gathering place for the family and foundation of memories.
This is evident by the fact that Donald waited until the ripe age of 85 years old to retire in 2011 but continued to help the new managers of the apple orchard with the day-to-day tasks. He was still strong, healthy, and capable.
“My dad was as strong as an ox,” said Becky Pasour, his youngest daughter. “A cognitive assessment at his annual physical, mere months before his accident, showed that he may be developing the early stages of dementia, but because he didn’t have any significant symptoms, we were told it was nothing to worry about at that time, so we didn’t and didn’t think anything of it.”
Sadly, just months later, worrying would be at the forefront of the family. Donald’s granddaughter found him lying on the ground with a massive head injury following a tractor accident. Initially, the family felt hope for his recovery after he was airlifted to Baptist Hospital and his care team had time to assess his condition, but within 24 hours, the gentle and calming husband, father, and grandfather experienced a complete change in his personality. He became combative, aggressive, and angry and his cognitive function began to progress quickly to what would later be determined late-stage dementia.
When Donald came home from the rehab center, his wife Rhoda became his primary caregiver. The siblings took turns caring for him as well. Despite knowing that he had a traumatic brain injury, nobody was using the word dementia. It was not until Becky and her sisters started doing some research and found the Alzheimer’s Association website that they began to understand what dementia was and ways they could better help him.
“I remember during that time how devastated I felt when my dad didn’t remember who I was – that I was his daughter,” said Becky. “He remembered my two older sisters, but I was a stranger to him. I learned to enjoy the precious moments when they showed themselves and not dwell on the times his mind was failing him.”
As Donald’s health continued to decline and his behavior worsened, the family made the decision to put him in an assisted living center. Just 14 months after the accident, Donald passed away.
Showing emotion that still feels just as fresh today as it did back then, Becky shares how this experience fueled her fire to get involved with the Alzheimer’s Association.
“Dementia is a disease that affects the entire family,” said Becky. “It is a disease that robs your loved one of their memories, their feeling of home and security. It was not something me or my family knew anything about or had any experience with until it affected my dad. The Alzheimer’s Association provided us with so much information and guidance that I was inspired to volunteer with the organization and conduct educational programs on dementia to help others.”
Becky also got involved with the previously-held Walk to End Alzheimer’s in Wilkesboro from 2015-2018. This year, Becky and her family team Memories Matter are rejoining the fight to end Alzheimer’s in memory of her father and his four sisters that ironically developed dementia after his passing. They will be doing so as part of Walk to End Alzheimer’s – Mount Airy taking place on September 14. “It is through the Alzheimer’s Association that I have met some incredibly inspiring people, and I look forward to this event where we come together as a family remembering and celebrating my dad.”
LIKE BECKY, WE ALL HAVE A REASON TO FIGHT FOR A WORLD WITHOUT ALZHEIMER’S DISEASE. Join your local Walk to End Alzheimer’s today as an individual, team, or sponsor.
The Alzheimer’s Association hosts 17 walks across North Carolina. The Alzheimer’s Association Walk to End Alzheimer’s is the world’s largest event to raise awareness and funds for Alzheimer’s care, support and research. Since 1989, the Alzheimer’s Association® mobilized millions of Americans in the Alzheimer’s Association Memory Walk®; now the Alzheimer’s Association is continuing to lead the way with Walk to End Alzheimer’s. Together, we can end Alzheimer’s.
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