A Wife’s Dedication Through Love and Loss

“Dealing with dementia was like a glove fitting my hand perfectly,” begins Angela Simpson of Kannapolis, North Carolina. “My profession as an activity director with Morningside of Concord at the time coupled with caring for my grandparents — who had three different types of dementia — 15 years ago, evoked my sense of passion for those living with Alzheimer’s disease and all forms of dementia.”  Little did Angela know at that time; however, that 10 years later, her passion would be elevated to an entirely new level. 

“Scottie was always the life of the party,” shares Angela, referring to her husband. “Many referred to him as a gentle giant.” At six foot two and a former football player who continued to work out every day, Scottie was very active, loved life and loved his family. He and Angela enjoyed attending football games, baseball games, outdoor concerts. “Scottie just loved to be around people and lived life to its fullest.” 

In 2018, Angela’s beloved husband Scottie, age 56, was diagnosed with younger-onset frontotemporal dementia, a disorder caused by progressive nerve cell loss in the brain’s frontal lobes or its temporal lobes. December 8, 2023 would have been their 16th wedding anniversary, but their time together cut short as Scottie passed away on August 21 of this year. 

Someone who was very good at conversation, very confident in how he looked and dressed, Angela began noticing a subtleness in Scottie’s behavior. “He struggled to communicate something he needed to tell us,” offered Angela. “He asked ‘Where’s my turn signal?’ when we were driving somewhere.” Working as a day trader and real estate appraiser, Scottie had always been excellent with numbers. Angela added that he couldn’t remember simple four digit codes to access buildings. “Even though I worked in the industry, I thought [hoped] that maybe it was fatigue in his life,” said Angela. “Unfortunately, what I knew was coming true was coming true.” 

Scottie was extremely frustrated with his inability to communicate for the first year and a half after his diagnosis. “He was like ‘Why can’t I, you know, tell you what I’m thinking or why can’t I remember this?’”  Angela adds that she tried to give him the time to say what he needed to say as not to create more frustration for him. 

Scottie’s FTD affected his ability to speak his thoughts, his ability to do daily task like showering, toileting and dressing. According to Angela, he become a person with a lot of anxiety, which he never had previously. His disease transitioned quickly, and by 2021 his neurologist said he was already in the later stages of the disease. Though his body is strong & healthy, his mind is completely different.

Not only was Angela Scottie’s primary caregiver, but she worked as much as possible to maintain their household finances.  Angela herself experienced an injury while she was an activity director at a senior living community that ultimately determined that she needed to change jobs to assume a part-time position as church secretary. Looking back on it now, Angela is thankful for the opportunity to be able to spend more time with Scottie. 

Last fall, Angela spoke to Spectrum News about her caregiving journey. During the interview she shared, “Some days, I am more tired than I expect to be at my age,” she said. “But I just take a deep breath and say ‘OK, I gotta get this done.’” When the time came that Angela needed support in managing Scottie’s needs, they worked with the Coltrane Life Center. “We’re so thankful for adult day care centers that can help families either have a break or for families like us that someone needs to work,” offers Angela. “They were simply amazing.”  Other members of the family helped out with Scottie, too, when they were able; however, the primary responsibility lay with Angela. 

The Alzheimer’s Association had been on Angela’s radar for a number of years given her work history in the senior adult community, as well as her involvement with the local chapter as an advocate, volunteer and fundraiser. “The Association has played a huge role for me in not only having the information available for me to research, but also as friends and a support system.” Angela firmly believes her active participation in the local organization is what helped her navigate most through Scottie’s journey.  “Go to the [Association’s] website, meet people face to face and come to these Walks.”

Speaking of Walks, Angela is the captain of Scottie’s Superstars for Walk to End Alzheimer’s – Rowan-Cabarrus that will be held on October 28 at the Atrium Health Ballpark.  On her fundraising page she shares:

“Our team walks because at age 56, my sweet handsome husband was diagnosed with early onset Frontal temporal Lobe Dementia (FTD). It has truly been sad to see my smart, go-getter guy, lose his ability to say what he is thinking, to not be able to perform simple daily tasks. We find Joy in the simple things and try to laugh as often as possible, because life changed greatly for us, but having strong Faith in Jesus Christ and being encouraged by others who are or have walked the journey makes us stronger. We don’t fight Alone…and he is a WARRIOR! On August 21st my husband’s battle ended after 5 years and 3 months of walking the journey of this disease. His last few months were some of the hardest days we both ever walked through. My voice will continue to FIGHT Loud & strong for his Memory and Legacy, because He is my heart, my always & forever!”

Angela has already exceeded her personal fundraising goal and her team is headed toward theirs with a few weeks left before Walk Day.  She believes that these Walks are one of the most beneficial services that the Association provides in that they offer families the opportunity to come together, share their stories and realize that they are not alone. The Promise Garden Ceremony is perhaps the most meaningful portion of the Walk for Angela. The ceremony is a mission-focused experience that signifies our solidarity in the fight against the disease. The colors of the Promise Garden Flowers represent participants’ connection to Alzheimer’s — their reasons to end the disease. Coupled with the sea of individual colors of flowers being represented, Angela has also heard so many families share their stories through the ceremony. Last year, Angela and Scottie shared their own story as part of the ceremony representing the blue flower – signifying someone living with Alzheimer’s or another form of dementia. When Angela spoke during last year’s ceremony, she shared this sentiment as a then current caregiver:

“I am his advocate, his caregiver for things he doesn’t remember how to do, and his wife. It’s a wild combination, but I will fight and bring awareness until my last breath, I will never be silent about how this disease hurts the entire family unit, it’s a huge loss daily. It’s my goal to never let the ones we love be “forget me nots” or we, as their families, be forgotten in the daily fight against Alzheimer’s!”

Angela’s advice for those who are either living with Alzheimer’s disease or another form of dementia or caring for a loved one who is:  Do not isolate yourself. She believes that’s the worst thing one can do. You need community, you need support. You need to know that you’re not alone and that you’re loved, because there will be some dark times. You will need that community around you who understands the disease. Subsequently, Angela has developed several strong friendships through the Association during Scottie’s journey. Keep mementos of your story and record those special moments because you’re gonna need those even on your dark days. Angela believes that just holding on to those moments when you need to tell yourself, ‘Okay, that person’s still there. I just can’t see them right now.’  Keep living life to the fullest until you just can’t. That’s one of the things she treasures the most is that they lived life until they just couldn’t anymore. “Keep moments bad and good because you’re going to learn from those,” concludes Angela. “I’m hoping that our story will continue to help others and change others.”

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LIKE ANGELA, WE ALL HAVE A REASON TO FIGHT FOR A WORLD WITHOUT ALZHEIMER’S DISEASE. Join your local Walk to End Alzheimer’s today as an individual, team, or sponsor.

The Alzheimer’s Association hosts 17 walks across North Carolina. The Alzheimer’s Association Walk to End Alzheimer’s is the world’s largest event to raise awareness and funds for Alzheimer’s care, support and research. Since 1989, the Alzheimer’s Association® mobilized millions of Americans in the Alzheimer’s Association Memory Walk®; now the Alzheimer’s Association is continuing to lead the way with Walk to End Alzheimer’s. Together, we can end Alzheimer’s.

Alamance County	9/30/2023
Asheville	10/14/2023
Charlotte	10/21/2023
Fayetteville	10/28/2023
Gaston/Cleveland/Lincoln	10/14/2023
Guilford County	10/7/2023
Henderson County	9/30/2023
Iredell County	9/23/2023
Jacksonville	10/14/2023
Moore County	9/30/2023
Mount Airy	9/9/2023
New Bern	10/21/2023
Rowan-Cabarrus	10/28/2023
Unifour (formerly Hickory)	10/28/2023
Triangle (Raleigh-Durham)	10/7/2023
Wilmington	11/4/2023
Winston-Salem	11/4/2023

Alzheimer’s isn’t stopping and neither are we.