By Sarah Osment
Brian Garrison’s parents, Allen and Linda, had lived in his childhood home in Morganton, North Carolina, since he and his brother, Keith, were young. “They were first loves in a faithful marriage of 53 years,” said Brian. His dad was called to serve in Vietnam, where he earned a Purple Heart. When he returned, his parents were married and had two kids – Brian and his brother, Keith.
Allen was a state employee for North Carolina, working in the accounting department for J. Iverson Riddle Development Center for 20 years. “My dad would get a longevity check from the state in the 70s and 80s, significant enough to take us on a trip,” said Brian. “They’d gather my brother and me and say, ‘We got a longevity check—we’re going on vacation in July!’” We went to Myrtle Beach, Disney World, Charleston, Destin, Boston Fenway Park, Amish Country in Hershey, Washington, D.C., New York, cruises…”
“Looking back, in a time and culture where many might spend that money on themselves, it’s refreshing to see how he reinvested in family,” said Brian. “He wanted something everyone wants as you get older – he wanted time. They just wanted time with me and my brother – that’s it.”
Allen and Linda attended the same church and filled their prescriptions at the same pharmacy for decades. When they were in their late 60’s, they started looking at each other – why can’t we remember how to get to these same places? Tasks they had done all their lives—like writing a check—were suddenly difficult to manage.
“It’s hard enough when it’s one parent, but when it’s two in the same household – they became toxic to each other,” said Brian. “My dad would become frustrated with my mom because not only was she not remembering the activities of daily living – he wasn’t remembering them either. His frustration was born out of fear, and this unknown territory they were entering at the same time.”
Brian and his brother started to see memory issues and other signs of Alzheimer’s in 2018. “We were checking in on them every day and started noticing my mom wearing the same outfit day after day. She wasn’t remembering what she wore the day before and gravitated to what seemed familiar,” added Brian. “Daily hygiene had become a challenge. One time she even called from the gas station because she had forgotten how to put gas in the car.”
“As all these things started to add up, my brother and my wife and I had to make some decisions on next steps,” said Brian.
Then COVID-19 hit.
“Facilities began closing their doors in early 2020. We were working with a social worker trying to get placements for both parents,” said Brian. Making things more complex, the type of care they each needed was different. “We were trying to get my mom placed in one facility and my dad in a different facility,” added Brian. “We just kept hearing, ‘Sorry, we’re not accepting anyone new due to COVID.’”
Eventually, Brian and his brother were able to successfully find a place to care for their dad right in Morganton. One month later, they found an assisted living facility for their mom in town as well.
“Although they were in different facilities, they were both in Morganton, six miles away from each other,” added Brian. “It was good for my brother and me to be able to visit often. We were both very thankful for that.”
“Our caregiving journey didn’t end when they went to their respective care homes, though,” said Brian. “A lot of people who don’t have personal experience might think, ‘Well, great, your parents are settled, you can sort of hand them off and move about your life now, but it’s actually Day One of a new chapter.”
“My brother and I were still very involved in their care – the point of contacts for all the doctors and medical changes needed. Plus, we now had to deal with selling their house and vehicles that they no longer needed – all during a time with the world was shut down due to the pandemic. It was layers on layers of frustrations.”
The time and attention needed to care for his parents caused Brian to have to walk away from his insurance career of 20 years. “Over time, my parents required increasing levels of care, requiring them to change facilities of varying distances to me and my brother.”
“There was so much turnover during this time at their care facilities,” said Brian. “My brother and I were constantly having to advocate on their behalf. If my parents had been with a particular nurse and that person leaves after a short time, then you have to communicate with a new person all over again. My mom and dad had advanced needs; they can’t advocate for themselves.”
One tool that assisted Brian in communicating across specialists and through turnover was holding a quarterly treatment plan meeting. “Especially in skilled care facilities, the caregiver or guardian will have these meetings with their loved one’s doctors, pharmacists, nurses, and more – together on one call,” said Brian. “They will go around the room or call and give updates on medications or any changes over the last quarter. They will also send paper files to support everything that was talked about. “These meetings offered accountability and transparency, allowing us to track progress, ask questions, and stay informed.”
“Alzheimer’s slowly takes away not just memory, but eventually the body’s ability to function—including breathing,” said Brian. “The end of life – last stage – your memory is gone, and the doctors now label it ‘inability to thrive.’ It was a journey that lasted five years for my mom. Alzheimer’s had reached a level where she couldn’t function or breathe well, and her organs shut down.”
Brian lost his mom in June of 2024. He continues to monitor his dad in a care home in Black Mountain, about an hour and 20 minutes away from where Brian lives.
“Although I told my dad in person when Mom passed away and they brought him down to the funeral, I’ve lost count of how many times he’s asked me since, ‘How’s my wife doing? I haven’t spoken to Mom in a while. How’s she doing?’” said Brian. “How do you navigate that over the phone? The worst thing to say is, ‘Don’t you remember?’ You just agree and try to move on and change the subject. You have to give folks hope.”
Brian got involved with the Walk to End Alzheimer’s – Unifour earlier this year as Chair of the Executive Leadership Committee, recruiting local companies and businesses to start teams and sponsor the event.
“When something impacts you on a personal level, you feel a responsibility to get involved, raise awareness, and hope for others,” said Brian.
Brian and his brother call each other multiple times a day. “He’s my brother and my best friend,” said Brian. “Every few days, we talk about those trips we took as kids. ‘Remember that time we were on a ride at Six Flags and Mom’s hair got wet? ‘Allen, my hair! My hair!’ she’s yelling. Dad pulled out an umbrella right on the ride. It breaks the umbrella. ‘Allen, you’re taking me to get my hair fixed right now,’ and Dad takes her somewhere in Atlanta to get her hair fixed while we stay at the park.”
“We have hundreds of stories like that over the years. Everyone remembers the places—but it’s the moments in between that stay with you,” added Brian. “You don’t think about it at the time, but you look back at how important they were. The moments in between.”
LIKE BRIAN, WE ALL HAVE A REASON TO FIGHT FOR A WORLD WITHOUT ALZHEIMER’S DISEASE. Join your local Walk to End Alzheimer’s today as an individual, team, or sponsor.
The Alzheimer’s Association hosts 17 walks across North Carolina. The Alzheimer’s Association Walk to End Alzheimer’s is the world’s largest event to raise awareness and funds for Alzheimer’s care, support and research. Since 1989, the Alzheimer’s Association® mobilized millions of Americans in the Alzheimer’s Association Memory Walk®; now the Alzheimer’s Association is continuing to lead the way with Walk to End Alzheimer’s. Together, we can end Alzheimer’s.
Walk to End Alzheimer’s 2025 dates in North Carolina:
| Alamance County | 9/27/25 |
| Asheville | 9/27/25 |
| Charlotte | 10/18/25 |
| Fayetteville | 10/25/25 |
| Gaston/Cleveland/Lincoln | 10/11/25 |
| Guilford County | 10/25/25 |
| Henderson County | 9/27/25 |
| Iredell Co. & Lake Norman | 9/27/25 |
| Jacksonville | 9/27/25 |
| Moore County | 9/13/25 |
| Mount Airy | 9/20/25 |
| New Bern | 10/18/25 |
| Rowan-Cabarrus | 10/4/25 |
| Unifour | 10/25/25 |
| Triangle (Raleigh-Durham) | 10/4/25 |
| Wilmington | 11/1/25 |
| Winston-Salem | 11/16/25 |
Join us in our fight for a future without Alzheimer’s and all other dementia.
About the author: Sarah Osment
Sarah is a strategic communications professional with more than a decade of experience in media relations, content creation and social media. She’s served on the marketing committee for Walk to End Alzheimer’s – Triangle since 2018.
Alzheimer's Association North Carolina Blog 